my crow

Dongrang brought Yi Sang to the side, the pale skin on his face lightly dusted red. He wasn’t participating in the current battle, so Dongrang took the time to shoot his shot. This poor little crow had lost his way. He had been caged by Gubo and now he was with this posse of… ah… to put it bluntly, freaks.  

It always gave him a thrill how he towered over his companion. Because that’s what Yi Sang was, and what he always would be; his companion in life and eventually death. He wanted Yi Sang all to himself at any cost, besides, what’s wrong with being a little selfish at times? Everyone has their vices. If his vice was selfishness, then he could keep it low. He did what he did with the League because he had to — he had to! It was a necessary evil, even though he didn’t know why on earth he did it. It was a pattering in his heart, a little calf that needed to be freed into the pastures. 

“Yi Sang,” he cooed in that smooth voice of his. “You didn’t even say hello. Is something the matter?”

“Nothing is wrong. I’ve simply moved on, or perhaps reversed to the state I was before you came into my life. As I stated before, I no longer have companions by my side.” 

“Then what’s with that ‘company’ you’re with?” Dongrang kept a smile plastered on his face. “Limbus, isn’t it?”

Yi Sang’s expression turned sorrowful. “I don’t know.”

“Seems like… bad company,” Dongrang said with a chuckle.

Yi Sang didn’t respond.

“Sorry, I forgot you never responded well to jokes.”

“I didn’t even know that was your goal. A sad attempt, but I’ll give you some credit.”

Dongrang reached for Yi Sang’s hand, his own being cold from poor circulation and the frigid temperatures of the laboratory. When his fingers interlaced with his, Yi Sang jerked away. “What’s the matter, Yi Sang? Is this too public?”

“We were never together, Dongrang.” 

His name! Yi Sang said his name! Dongrang had to hold back a squeal. “Oh, but that was just because of the others. Now they’re all gone, Yi Sang.” He couldn’t stop the words from pouring out of his mouth now. “I had to do it — I had to, Yi Sang. Because look! If it weren’t for Gubo… We could’ve had our dream life. Do you remember, Yi Sang?” Wings, he could never get enough of Yi Sang’s name on his lips. “We talked about it sometimes. Owning a little farm, some cows, some sheep, and maybe a barn cat. We were going to name her Yeonsim after your invention.”

“It’s not good to have an outdoor cat,” Yi Sang commented. “I don’t recall what you’re going on about, I’m sorry.”

His little crow never had the best memory.

But Dongrang kept pushing, trying to bring the roots of their farm, their calf, back sprouting to the surface of Yi Sang’s mind.

“Yi Sang, think about it. We could both leave this place. I have more than enough money these days to make all of that a reality for both of us. We should — us — we could have a child” — he was stumbling over himself now — “and they’d be so beautiful and so brilliant. Oh, Yi Sang, remember the golden calf? We talked about how we’d bring it along with me — us. We’re the only ones who truly understand each other, Yi Sang.” 

He kept prattling on, reaching for Yi Sang’s hand again. It went limp in his touch, allowing him to grip it firmly. It was warm and beating with life, life that Dongrang wanted for himself, merged with his own and taken by every inch of his flesh. Maybe he was touch starved. Maybe he was pathetic. “Yi Sang, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” Was he? 

Yi Sang sighed. “There’s nothing that can be done.” 

He hadn’t changed one bit. He was still the same old Yi Sang that Dongrang had always loved! The same Yi Sang he could run away with, the Yi Sang that could be a father to his children, the Yi Sang that always loved Dongrang for who he was. 

“I think I remember the farm now. We wanted it far away from the City, even beyond the Outskirts.” 

“Ah, yes. You were the one who came up with that idea.” Dongrang’s eyes locked with Yi Sang’s, staring into his beloved’s dark gray pools. Oh, he wanted to drown in them! “I’m sorry about Gubo. I do believe he cared about you, but certainly not in the way I did… Well, the way I still do.”

At this, Yi Sang squeezed his hand harder, and Dongrang felt his stomach flip. He was getting it back. He was getting it all back. And soon they’d run away together, they’d have a child, a little farm, some cows, some sheep, and a barn cat named Yeonsim. They’d live off the land and plant their own crops, maybe Yi Sang could learn to cook whilst Dongrang would sometimes buy meat from a nearby marketplace, unable to part with any of his beloved animals, because I am good and kind, I am compassionate, I wouldn’t be able to look an animal in the eye before a slaughter. I am not selfish and I do not have an ego.

“I… I see.” Yi Sang’s brow was furrowed. “You’re not over it.” 

“Why would I be? You’re the truest love I’ve ever had, Yi Sang.”

“What about Samjo?”

“Hm?”

“Your secretary. He clearly likes you a lot.”

Who cares about him right now? “I see. I don’t see how that affects anything, though, my dear Yi Sang. Please, consider it. We could have everything we’ve ever wanted right now. We can go far away and —”

“Dongrang, I’ve moved on.”

“What?”

He couldn’t. He still loved him so much, how could he not feel the same way? Yi Sang would ruminate a lot, and always felt his emotions intensely. Surely his love for him would remain strong after all this time. If anything, Yi Sang’s emotions should be stronger than Dongrang’s! 

“Haha… Haah… I never thought of you as much of a humorous man, Yi Sang. You’ve always been rather serious —”

Yi Sang let go of his hand, stopping Dongrang’s voice in its tracks.

“You’ve always been… serious…”

“I am.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m over it, Dongrang. You’re no longer by my side, and you betrayed all of us. I have no interest in talking to you further.”

“...Ah.” 

Dongrang smiled. 

“I see.” 

So he let Yi Sang leave, knowing deep down that those feelings would come back up again, just like the memory of their farmhouse. Yi Sang would love him again. He had to. He’d find a way, he’d woo him once more and show him he’s far better now, that they could try again. And once they were together for just a bit, Yi Sang would see that he really was worth running away with. So they’d run beyond the Outskirts, far away from K Corp and Limbus Company and everything in between and beyond in this City. It would be so wonderful as they raised their child who would inherit the farm and they’d see life beyond being empty shells, wrung out by the City’s stars. 

He’d come back.

They always do.